Help I am lost! I am not even sure what week I am supposed to be writing about. They all blend like colors in a hot washing machine. I am experiencing time at light speed. The first week of this program felt like a month and now weeks are passing by like a night's rest. Before the program began, I was presented with the opportunity to come alongside my mentor on a research cruise. In no way was I obliged to. Kelly said that some interns grow attached to their cohort and do not want to leave them for two weeks. At the time I thought about how silly it would be to pass up this once in a lifetime opportunity just to hang out with people you just met. Here I am- leaving to board the Sally Ride tomorrow, and I must say I carry a small somber weight on my shoulders. Although my peers may not reciprocate- I am sad to spend so much time away from them.
RESEARCH CRUISE UPDATE: I have been on the boat for a couple of days, and this is definitely a unique experience. I was worried the first couple of days, I felt very sick, and it felt like it would never end. After adjusting, I am feeling more able to focus on the work and procedures of this cruise. The environment created by the lovely scientist and mentors on this vessel has also allowed me to pursue my curiosity. I have gotten to see animals that I have only heard about in class, and I must say they are never the size I think they are going to be. I have been able to add more invertebrates to my library of knowledge and I could not be happier. I am happy I am not going anywhere if I want to continue with this project and work with Kelly more (if I can. I want to. That is a later discussion). Outside of the work schedule I’ve... 1. finally finished my book Filthy Animals by Brandon Taylor. PHENOMENAL writer from Iowa! Made me feel incredibly human. 2. Got stung by a Sea Nettle (Chrysaora fuscenscens) not fun but not as bad as had originally anticipated. 3. Found some adorable hydromedusae with perfect gumdrop bells and pink tentacles (Olindias sp.) Twilight Update: We have finished the entire Twilight Saga and I got the exact reaction I wanted out of Chloe.
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I have this knot of anxiety eating at my internal organs and it is nice. Sometimes this little knot is all I need to throw myself into the unknown. As much as I gripe and sulk, I find beauty and joy in discomfort. I am terrified all the time and it is a reminder how small I am on this blue marble dancing around in a great big universe. All right enough with the meta mumbo-jumbo....
Coming into this position I was greeted with the once in a lifetime opportunity to participate in a research cruise. This means we will be venturing out at sea collecting samples along set transects on a large vessel. And while I knew I couldn’t pass up this offer, I must say- I am scared. Not only am I a little fearful of the power of the ocean (she demands respect) but I fear that my lack of experience will hinder other scientists’ ability to do their jobs. Alas I am determined to make myself useful and gain as much knowledge from this experience as possible! As the research cruise grows near, Madison and I are pushing to collect the rest of our data. Every day we analyze video clips, export frames, measure anatomy, and record the data. I hope there is something that we can do or see in it considering the constant pivoting and backtracking to cover unseen bases. That being changing our species of interest (twice) or redoing video analysis correctly. There is this love-hate relationship I have with this work. I can easily find my rhythm in tedious tasks, (oddly enough) enjoy using Excel, and enjoy fixing problems. On the other hand, I am never truly satisfied with my work and insist on “fixing the problem” without 1. letting the small errors sink in and feeling it and 2. analyzing where the problem originated (gaps in knowledge? Technical issues involving equipment?). But here we are! We are doing what we can with what we have, and I am learning to be okay with it! With that said, I am thinking of reaching out to the professors here and asking if I can be in one of their labs this fall. I need more exposure to research. Apart from work. Chloe, Madison, and I are watching the Twilight Saga and I must say- I. Love. It. I love all unnecessary drama and fighting. I love the moody Pacific Northwest setting. And I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with the soundtrack. Paramore, Bon Iver, Death cab for Cutie, Florence +The Machine- what more could I ask for! Take away... 1. Decisions are scary 2. I can do more than I think I can 3. The twilight saga has an AMAZING soundtrack 4. I am a little scared about 2 weeks at sea I spoke too soon. The beginning of this week started of extremely rough.
I am happy with the amount of analysis we have done on our video samples. Madison and I have found a work flow that allows us to standardize our work with the hopes that this consistence will be reflected in our data. Since we had a larger sample size for Bolinopsis than for Beroe, I’ve taken to cutting the fat, I hope I will have time to go back and collect more data but for we have equal amounts of analyzed data and I am happy. I am excited to actually graph the data and see if and what statistics we will need. I fell in (slight) love with statistics in winter and I hope I can pull that information to the front of my brain for this. The science highlight of my week was seeing the baby Bolinopsis Richard got for us! It reminded me Squish mallow. It had the smallest comb rows with around five ctenes each. How anything with that propulsive power is capable of locomotion is beyond me. I wish we were better able to watch these little guys and collect data on them, however, we are on a bit of a crunch for time. As for the personal aspects of my week. It was rough. Losing people and having to continue on with science is hard but if I want to continue in this field I have to learn to cope. By the time Friday came around I was feeling a bit better. Somehow Madison and I convinced most of the REU to drive back to Eugene for the weekend. We ate amazing food at some local restaurants, bought produce and art at the Saturday Market, and stopped by a lovely bookstore I used to frequent when I lived there. We ended the weekend swimming at a little waterfall near Cottage grove and drove home to an amazing sunset. Although it was amazing I am tired. I am glad to be back at the OIMB. Between personal issues and ironing out more kinks of our project, I am a little tired. One of the hardest parts is that I want this work to be good; reflective of my institution and mentor. I can’t help but I feel like I let my people down. I think it is the perfectionist in me, I just want to make my leaders proud. This week has been upsettingly underwhelming. I fear Madison and I used up all our ctenophore luck and are unable to find any on the docks. I check in the morning and at night, low and high tide to no avail. On rare occasions, I will come across a lobate ctenophore, which is my equivalent of having Miracle Whip when I asked for mayo, it is just not what I wanted. Apart from that, I feel like we have made timely progress analyzing our videos and are just waiting to catch more. Measuring anatomical features like ctene length and spacing has become easy, and so has calculating beat frequencies. I can't help feeling like I am missing a lot of pieces. I am not happy with my research right now; I am not sure if or when I was fully satisfied with this work. I was so excited to work which these creatures and they are still as fascinating as the day I first saw them; I just want to do this creature more justice.
Outside of research, not much has been going on. I have enjoyed listening to live music at the 7 Devils Brewery and seeing my colleagues have fun. I have always loved live music, so it fills a little warm spot in my heart. Other than that, I experience every day the same. Wake up, eat, work on the computer, unsuccessfully find ctenophores, eat, work on the computer and read more, eat, walk my dog, go to bed. Is this what research is supposed to feel like? I don’t know. At least Richard is here to help. Possible ideas... Long time no...talk? Read?
Well, since my last blog post, our little ctenophore experiment has taken a pleasant and unexpected turn. On Thursday of week 2, Madison and I went out to our usual ctenophore collection site in the evening. From the beginning of this project, we have been incredibly fortunate in finding Pleurobrachia sp. here. However, this time the docks were in low supply. In their place, we discovered something much larger and stranger... BEROE! In case you're not familiar with the ctenophore Beroe sp., they are atentaculate creatures (lacking tentacles) and reminiscent of transparent rainbow pickles. A wise man once described them to me as "floating paper bags." Despite their simple shape, they are no less beautiful. Fortunately, these ctenophores are more active, significantly larger, and abundant in a wide range of sizes. Therefore, we can easily record and analyze their morphology and swimming mechanics. Regarding raising Beroe babies, I feel like I had more success with Pleurobrachia (despite everyone's comments on its difficulty). However, I'm not ready to give up on that endeavor just yet! Unless our preliminary data shows a consistent trend in overall body size and ctene-morphology, as well as kinematics, I'll continue with it. As for the other aspects of our lab work, I feel like we're simply making progress. Sometimes, I can't help but feel that our project is not as intensive or impressive as those in other labs. I'm not quite sure how to process that feeling, except to accept that "it is what it is." I hope having my mentors around in person will improve my outlook. Outside of work, I find myself similar to my gelatinous subjects—being pushed around in this vast world, with nothing but my little ctenes (limbs) to provide some sense of control. All I can do is read, walk my dog, and make feeble attempts at surfing. Stage one of a long race is full of excitement, joy, and adrenaline; the thrill and novelty of beginning- I am not in this stage. I am in stage two: understanding that I am still near the starting line and I have a lot more that needs to be done. Week one has come and gone and now it is time for me to pull up my waders and get my ctenophores in order. And I would like to say- I have come up with a general game plan that I am relatively happy with , however, the execution is taking longer than I would like. Patience is a virtue that I am still developing.
We plan to collect sea gooseberries (Pleurobrachia bachei) with plankton tows and dip collection within the Charleston Marina. Using both methods will (HOPEFULLY) provide us with a variety of sizes from >150 microns to 1 cm in diameter. From here we can house them in their own little jars in the lab, measure using a camera and ImageJ, and release. Wash, rinse, and repeat. Although it sounds simple, I assure you that I have spent a fair share of my time begging and pleading with a ctenophore to swim for me. Hopefully, with a large sample size and a variety in body size, our data will allow us to paint a picture of the morphological and swimming pattern changes that occur throughout the comb jelly’s life. As far as outside of the lab, I finally feel like I am setting into the environment and energy that each new individual brings to the OIMB. It is really nice being able to talk to folks from such different walks of life and hear about their scientific and cultural endeavors. I also enjoy putting my Oregon coast invertebrate knowledge to work to help my peers identify organisms in the tide pools. I can feel this budding love of spreading knowledge to others growing inside of me. I will say at times as I watch the other UO OIMB students participate in classes and go along with their normal pursuit of knowledge, I can’t help but to feel left behind. How I long for the knowledge of seaweeds (how dramatic!)! But I must keep reminding myself that I am going along a learning path of my own, and while it may not look like all the others, is in no less of a learning experience. Well, hello again…I feel like I met you before, but I can introduce myself again! I am Randi Navarro, a rising senior studying marine biology at the University of Oregon. California-born but Iowan raised, the attraction of the ocean and coastline has never left me. At the young age of 10-11, I had made up my mind that I was going to study marine biology at the University of Oregon; how I came up with this idea is beyond me since I have no family the resides in the state. Nonetheless, after high school graduation came and left, I had no hesitation about packing my bags, driving half way across the country, and blindly running into the next chapter of my life. Although I have overcome many battles on my own, I am glad to tell my 10-11-year-old self that I’ve made it to the Oregon Institute of Marine Biology! Young Randi wanted to learn everything about sharks…hate to disappoint them but it seems that sponges, jellyfish, and various gastropods had peaked my interests these days.
Throughout this seemingly long path to the OIMB, I have faced a lot of criticism. What am I going to do with my degree? What am I going to focus my studies on? How am I going to make a living? And the truth is - I am not sure yet. I have been in an internal fight about serving my community or following my own curiosity through research. I hope that this opportunity to work as an REU sheds some light on with path I would like to pursue. With that said, I will discover more about my passions and organism within Kelly Sutherland and Richard Emlet’s labs studying gelatinous zooplankton. I will be looking at the changes in morphology and swimming mechanisms across various stages in ctenophore development. As a previous OIMB student I feel like I am floating around in a weird limbo. I am struggling a bit to find where I am comfortable among my peers and trying to get comfortable with the reality of troubleshooting in the lab (luckily, I like problem solving, unluckily I don’t like stepping away until a problem is solved) but I can feel it getting better already. When I am not sloshing around looking at the amazing invertebrate monsters that inhabit the tidepools of the Oregon Coast, I am most likely walking my pug, Pigg. In the gaps between, I enjoy playing my bass, learning about aquarium care via volunteer work at the Charleston Marine Life Center, hiking, reading (recreationally), dancing, and most importantly relaxing (it’s good to give the body and mind a little down time). |
Randi NavarroHello-Hello! I am Randi Navarro. I am a marine biology major beginning my senior year at the University of Oregon. Although I was raised in the landlocked Midwest state of Iowa, the enchanting world of the underwater realm has always had a special place in my heart. I am excited to gain some confidence and insight of the world of research with the guidance of my mentors: Kelly Sutherland and Richard Emlet. I will (hopefully) be learning about the life history and kinematics of gelatinous zooplankton. ArchivesCategories |
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